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This is our journey to a baby brother or sister for Charlie. We have a lot to consider: a 25 percent chance of Meckel-Gruber Syndrome - a genetic condition which is uniformly fatal AND a 10 percent chance of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. But just because we know the odds of the worst happening, doesn't mean we aren't hoping for the best. Charlie would love a sibling - even if he only gets to keep them for a very short time.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
At last...
Rosie is fast asleep on my lap, and Charlie is watching TV in his Darth Vader costume, so I thought I'd capitalise on a few minutes peace and get Rosie's birth story onto the blog at last!
So. Let me take you back to the Friday before Rosie was born - October 7.
Pete and I headed up to the hospital to see Mr Beattie. I was five days overdue, and I was anticipating being given a date to be induced towards the end of the following week, because Rosie was showing no signs of making an appearance under her own steam.
Pete had booked the day off work, and we were planning a relaxing lunch after our appointment before we had to collect Charlie from school.
So, as normal, we went for a scan in the fetal medicine department.
The lady doing the scan had a good look at the baby and confirmed that everything was still looking great. She did all the usual measurements, and yet again, LO was still looking big - off the scale in every measurement, in fact.
We didn't really think too much of this, until we went in to chat with Mr Beattie.
He came into the room proffering the chart on which he had plotted LO's measurements.According to the scan measurements (which are notoriously unreliable later on in pregnancy) the baby was now weighing a whopping 12lbs 9oz.
12lb 9oz!!!
Unfortunately I can't capitalise numerals, because if ever a figure merited capitals, it's 12lbs 9oz! So hopefully some bold printing, italics and a bigger font will give you the idea!
Mr Beattie was worried because the baby was showing up as big all over - not just a big head, but long leg bones and a big tummy too.
His main concern was the threat of shoulder dystocia - when the baby's head delivers normally, but the shoulders are too big to rotate properly, so the baby gets stuck in the birth canal - usually with its oxygen supply compromised.
If this happens, you can't get the baby back inside to do a caesarean section - the baby has to be delivered normally. But because the baby is too big, it is very risky for both mum and baby. (I won't go into too much detail, but it can be pretty horrific - sometimes doctors need to break the baby's clavicles or the mother's pelvis to get the baby out...)
It goes without saying, that at this point, my desire for a non-medicalised and 'normal' birth was disappearing quickly.
I have to admit, at no point did I think the baby actually was 12lbs 9oz - yes, I knew she was a big baby, but my bump really didn't feel like it was holding a baby who was only a pound and a bit shy of a stone!I said as much to Mr Beattie, and he agreed, but he said he would rather have to apologise to me down the line if I had a c-section that it turned out I didn't need, rather than proceed with a normal delivery and risk something awful happening.
Like I've said before, we've known Bryan Beattie for the best part of a decade - since I was carrying Will - and I trust him absolutely, with my health and that of my kids.
If he recommended a c-section, then that was fine by me.
I think he was expecting to have to talk me into it, and was quite pleasantly surprised when I agreed without hesitation! (I mean, really - who wants to have to deliver a 12lbs 9oz baby?? Ouch.)
I wanted him to be the surgeon to deliver the baby, and he was able to squeeze me onto his list for surgery the following Monday - October 10.
So, off Pete and I went to the pre-op clinic to have my blood taken and to speak with the anaesthetist.
It was a long day, and our romantic lunch went out of the window! In fact, we only just made it home in time to collect Charlie from school!
Although it wasn't the delivery I had hoped and planned for throughout my pregnancy, it was actually a pretty good result in many ways. I'm one of those people who likes to know what's what, and to be plan for what's happening. We were able to get everything packed and ready, and to collect Mum so she was able to be here to look after Charlie.
We decided to take Charlie out of school on the Monday, so he and Mum could come up to the hospital with us, so they were on the scene as soon as LO made her appearance.
So, fast forward to Monday morning.
We had to be at the hospital by 8am, so it was a very early start for all of us.
Pete and I left Charlie and Mum in the hospital concourse, and went to wait on the maternity ward. We were told that I was second on the theatre list, so should be having the baby by late morning.
We sat and waited... and waited.
Around noon, Pete went to meet Mum and Charlie for some lunch - and I carried on waiting on the ward.
At about 1.30pm, I asked a nurse when I was likely to be having my section, and found out that I was actually last on the list, not second. And to further complicate matters, there had been a couple of emergencies too.
I couldn't help but think about Mum trying to keep my poor, overexcited Charlie-Boy entertained for hours and hours with nothing but two coffee shops, a chemist and a newsagent.
At 2pm, it was ward visiting hours, so Charlie and Mum came to sit with us while we waited. Charlie had been SO good - I really felt for him, because I think he was starting to doubt that his little sister was ever going to arrive.
Visiting was over at 3pm, but he and Mum were allowed to stay a bit longer because we'd been told that I'd be going to theatre 'any minute'.
Finally, at about 3.15pm, Pete and I hugged Charlie and Mum goodbye, and headed off to meet our daughter.
Pete wasn't best pleased, because instead of the George Clooney-style scrubs that you normally see expectant fathers wearing on TV, he was given a disposable hat and gown made of some blue material, not dissimilar to J-cloth!
I had a c-section with Will, but things were slightly different this time round. Instead of going to a separate anaesthetic room, I was taken straight into theatre, where I was given my spinal block.
It was, without doubt, a very strange experience - so utterly different from both times I gave birth previously.
With Will, we knew our time was so very limited, and we knew with absolute certainty what would happen as soon as he was born.
With Charlie, there was no sense of relief, or of the worst being over when he was finally born - he was whisked away from us in the blink of an eye, and we knew the hardest part of our journey with him was yet to come.
If I am totally honest, I don't think I ever really fully accepted that this little one was destined to stay with us for any length of time.
Although I allowed myself to enjoy my pregnancy and doing a few bits of baby shopping, in my heart of hearts, I really felt that this baby would be taken from us too.
I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I couldn't shake the tentative funeral plans I had come up with - songs that would be appropriate, music I'd want to play, people I would ask to speak...
Even as I lay on the operating table, knowing that our daughter would be in my arms in a matter of minutes, I felt oddly detached from the whole situation - still totally disbelieving that all might be well.
We had been warned that she may not cry straight away, because babies born by c-section are often a bit shocked, as well as having lungs that are full of fluid because they haven't been squeezed during birth.
But I know that both Pete and I had hoped against hope that she would cry loud and hard straight away, because any kind of silence after she was delivered, with that awful wait and anticipation would be horribly reminiscent of the silence after Will was born.
As I lay there, feeling sick and faint (spinal blocks always drop my blood pressure hard and fast) with the anaesthetist pumping something to stop me feeling so vile into my venflon, Pete leaned over and told me that he was sure he'd just heard them pop my waters.
An infinitesimally short moment later, before the baby was even fully delivered, we heard the loudest, crossest cry you could ever wish to hear, and all the medical staff laughed at just how loud and cross our baby was.
There was no fear in the room as far as the medical staff were concerned, no panic, no wondering what would happen, how they should treat us - they were just doing their jobs, and - knowing our previous history - were all happy and relieved that our baby was alright.
As she was born at 4.07pm, Mr Beattie said "Look how pink she is - she's ridiculously pink!" and they poked Rosie over the screen for us to see.
And she was indeed pink - pink, cross, bellowing and rooting for food straight away.
It was only then, as I heard our girl yelling, and the gentle laughter of the staff, that I finally believed.
Believed that this time everything was going to be ok.
As I finally let go of my fears, along with my baby's funeral plans, I couldn't stop crying.
They took Rosie to the other side of the room to clean her up.
Her Apgar scores were 9 at one minute and 10 at five minutes. She really is robustly healthy - in fact, the paediatrician on standby took one look at her and left the room.
Pete and I held her as they stitched me up. It really was so hard to believe that she was here safely.
It was about 4.30pm by the time they finished stitching me up, and I was moved to a bed to be wheeled back to the ward, which provided me with another precious moment.
I have seen so many women over the years - in hospitals and on TV shows - being wheeled back along the hospital corridors in their bed, new baby in their arms, glowing with love and pride.
I'd never been able to do that before, and until they put Rosie in my arms for the ride back to the ward, I'd never realised how much I'd wished I could.It was another hugely emotional moment - in fact, I made Pete take my picture before I let them wheel me away!
Once I was back in Recovery, Pete was allowed to fetch Charlie and Mum straight away. By this time, it was 5pm, and Charlie had been hanging around the hospital for nine hours.
But he was SO excited to finally meet his baby sister - he came running in, and cuddled her straight away. It was another fantastic 'first' for us - seeing two of our children together at the same time.
Although our road to parenthood has been difficult and unusual, it really means we appreciate every tiny moment of 'normality' - little things that most parents probably would't even think about.It was so priceless to see how in love Charlie was with Rosie at first glance, to see him hold her, and hear him tell her how long he'd been waiting to meet her. (And how much money Nanny had spent on comics in the newsagent trying to keep him entertained while he'd been waiting and waiting for her to arrive!)
Anyway, this has ended up being much longer than I intended, but I thought you'd like to hear how our journey to another sibling for Charlie finally came to fruition. I still cannot believe that all those hurdles I wrote about in my first post here last December have been safely negotiated, and we have a beautiful new daughter/sister in our lives.
One final thing to mention - as you can see from my post introducing LO, her name is Rosie Hannah. I thought you might like to know why we chose those names for her...
The Rosie part was Charlie's choice. He said ages ago, before I was even pregnant, that if we ever had a girl, that he would like to call her Rose. (You might remember that the erstwhile Dr Who played by David Tennant had a companion of the same name, and we all know how much Charlie loves Dr Who!!)
Pete and I thought it was a really pretty name, and tacked the -ie suffix on the end because it sounded nice next to Charlie!
As for the Hannah part... It was really important to me to honour my dad somehow with our baby's name. Dad's name was Alf, and had Rosie been a boy, she would have been named Alfie. I didn't really think it would be fair to lumber a little girl with the name Alfreda though, so we had to get a bit creative.
I've mentioned before on this blog how, when he was still here, my dad would pray every day for our as yet unconceived child, and would ask that we might have a child with no health problems the next time round. And because he knew that HLHS is more common in boys, he would pray that we might have a girl.
So, why Hannah?
Well, you may or may not have heard about the woman in the Bible named Hannah who was desperate for a baby, and prayed that she might conceive. Her prayers were answered, and she gave birth to a son - Samuel.
She is recorded as saying "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him."
For me, it feels like my Dad could have spoken these very words - because he prayed so hard for our little Rosie Hannah, and those prayers have been well and truly answered.
So there you have it - it may not be obvious at first glance, but Rosie's name gives her a connection with her Grandpa - a man who would have loved her so very much, and who thought of her and prayed for her before she was conceived.
I've finally uploaded some pictures onto my netbook, so I will put a slideshow of Rosie's pictures together when I get five minutes... watch this space!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Introducing...
Born 10/10/11 at 4.07pm,
Weighing 9lbs11oz.
She is beautiful, pink and healthy.
We are overjoyed and Charlie is ecstatic!
It has been a long day, so I will update properly later.
Welcome to the world, little darling!
Monday, October 03, 2011
Charlie's in print!
Hopefully it will help raise awareness of something so simple that can really save lives.
I'm not sure if you'll be able to read the text, but you get the idea!
I'm tickled pink with the picture of Charlie - wonky teeth and all!
(Although I have to admit that the sub-editing of my quotes made my hair stand on end - when I was a chief sub-editor, I'd have lynched my subs if they had sent a story to press with so many typos!! But hopefully all the readers won't notice quite as much as I did!)
Sunday, October 02, 2011
D-Day
And as of now, I don't think she's got any plans to arrive on time.
We're just having a leisurely day today - making the most of what might (or might not!) end up being our last weekend before LO makes her big appearance.
I'll keep you posted!
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Well, better late than never!
So here's one of me just now at 39w3d.
And no, I don't normally look quite so smart, but we just had our photos taken for the newspaper, so I thought I'd capitalise on the fact that I've actually brushed my hair and put on a pair of heels by getting Pete to take a pic for me. It's a bit over-exposed, but you get the idea!
Anyway - you might be wondering why are we having pictures taken for the paper.
Primarily because we're helping my consultant, Bryan Beattie, publicise a new screening campaign to check blood oxygen levels in newborns.
We were very fortunate that Charlie's HLHS was picked up on ultrasound scan, because only about 50 percent of congenital heart defects are found via antenatal scanning.
And of the 50 percent that are undiagnosed before birth, many babies with major, life-threatening cardiac problems initially seem well and are discharged from hospital - only to become very ill, very quickly.
For many families, by the time they get their babies back to hospital, it can be too late.
But even though these babies initially seem well, the oxygen levels in their blood are often much lower than normal - a key warning to doctors that further investigation is needed.
A simple and non-invasive test can pick up the low oxygen levels before they even leave the hospital.
They just need to be attached to a pulse oximetry or sats machine, which will tell doctors the vital percentage of oxygen in their blood.
That's it.
Easy and painless - and already part of routine post-natal screening in the US, but not here.
So, Mr Beattie has started offering the screening at his private clinic - but we - and he - really want the NHS to pick up the baton here and make sure every newborn is screened before leaving hospital.
It really is a lifesaver.
Even though LO has been repeatedly scanned, and has had in-depth cardiac scans, we will definitely be having her sats checked before we set foot out of the hospital.
So... back to the newspaper.
I wrote a press release for Mr Beattie last week, (for those of you who don't know, I was a journalist before I had the kids, so it was quite nice to pick up my reporter's notebook again!) and was interviewed by a reporter the other day. A photographer came this afternoon to take some pics.
So, hopefully I should have some really nice pics to show you before too long. I'll post the link to the piece in the paper as well if I can find it when it comes out.
No other news really - all was well when I went to the midwife last week. LO was still head down and growing nicely.
It's hard to believe she is due in four days (although I am still adamant that she's going to be late!)
We go back to the hospital at the end of next week for another checkup, by which time I'll be about five days overdue.
I want to avoid being induced if I possibly can, and Mr Beattie is happy for me to go about 12days late, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens!
Watch this space!!
Friday, September 09, 2011
Not breech!!
Well, our appointment today went really well!
As well as checking growth, they also re-checked all the key points - heart, kidneys, bladder etc.
Her anatomy is still looking totally normal and everything seems to be working perfectly.
She is still growing like mad - all her measurements were about two weeks ahead and they estimate she is weighing about 7lbs4oz now.
The best bit of all is that she has turned herself around again, so she is no longer breech!
So now all we need to do is wait for her to make an appearance!
Mr Beattie has made our next appointment for 40wk5d, so who knows - maybe LO will be here before then!
I have to go to the community midwife in about a fortnight just for her to check me over, but other than that, we just have to play the waiting game.
Mr Beattie was very happy with how LO is doing, which is great. He also told us that all of LO's cardiac scans have been reviewed by Orhan Uzun, the cardiologist, and he is very happy with everything too! Just what we want to hear.
Consequently, he doesn't think she will need a cardiac echo after she is born, but he does want to check her oxygen sats after she arrives - as much for my reassurance as anything else!
He gave me his mobile number and asked me to text him as soon as LO is born, so he can come and see her and put a sats probe on her.
I know I've said it before, but it is so fantastic to have a medical team around us who we really trust and can rely on.
I'm attaching the latest pic of LO - it's not very clear, but you can still see how chubby her cheeks are!
So, now we need to finish off all the preparations for LO's arrival, and I need to start hitting the raspberry leaf tea! I don't know how much good it does, but it can't hurt to give it a whirl!
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
36w3d
If I'm honest, it still doesn't feel real. I've washed the bits and pieces of clothes for her, the crib is ready and the buggy arrived yesterday.
This is a very weird feeling. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just waiting for it all to go wrong.
I still feel like I'm pretending at being pregnant. (Although my ever-growing bump might dispute that...) Or at least pretending that everything is ok.
It's strange to be able to chat to people about our impending new arrival without seeing sympathy and pity in their eyes.
Strange to think that the biggest concern at the moment is whether she is breech or not.
Strange to be talking about plans for Charlie's birthday and Christmas, and including the baby in those plans.
This is an unprecedented experience for me - preparing for a baby who, God willing, in all likelihood and according to all the doctors, will be born well and 'wonderfully boring', and be able to come home from hospital with me straight away.
I've been trying to pack my hospital bag and I'm really struggling.
I find myself wanting to pack lots of stuff for me, in the expectation that I'll be stuck in hospital for weeks with a sick baby. Equally, I'm finding it hard to know how much to take for LO - with Will, we took one outfit and that was it.
And, though it's quite hard to admit, I'm finding it hard to let go of the tentative baby funeral plans that have been bubbling around my brain since I got a positive pregnancy test back in January.
I know people who haven't been in our situation find that hard to stomach, and probably think I'm being over-dramatic.
I can already imagine all the 'You can't think like that; don't be stupid; you have to be positive' responses.
But I can't.
I just can't shake off my usual habit of expecting the worst.
Yes, I'm having fun ironing little dresses, and loving watching Charlie get more and more excited as LO's due date draws nearer and nearer.
But I still can't let myself be confident that she will be ok.
It's almost as though, if something does go wrong, I want to be able to say 'See! I was right!'
But on this occasion, I'll be very, very happy to be proved wrong.
We go back to the hospital on Friday to see how LO is getting on. Judging by my ever-increasing waistline, I'm guessing she's still growing pretty well. I'm also thinking that she may well still be breech, as I can feel something hard, round and head-like jammed up under my ribs.
I guess we will see on Friday.
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, August 21, 2011
34 weeks
This pregnancy is flying by. She'll be here before we know it.
All is going well - she is still wriggling around like mad - I'm not sure if she's still breech though, so I might pop up to the community midwife this week so she can have a feel and tell me if I need to start standing on my head!
I'm feeling pretty ok - quite a few people have said I'm blooming (although I REALLY wouldn't go that far!) and I've also been told that my bump is very neat - which is nothing short of a miracle because according to the scans, LO is pretty huge!
I'm not too tired, although my hips and pelvis have been pretty sore and achy. I'm fine when I'm up and walking though - it's just the transition between lying down-sitting-standing and vice versa which is tricky.
We're reasonably organised for LO's arrival now - her crib is sorted, and her clothes are ready too. We've brought the essentials down out of the loft, and everything is sorted for my mum coming to look after Charlie while Pete and I are at the hospital.
It's quite exciting really - crazy to think we'll probably only have a couple more hospital appointments before she is here with us.
I'm still dithering about whether to hire a TENS machine again. I had one when I had Charlie and it didn't really seem to do a lot, and the buzzing feeling annoyed me a bit - but you never know how much worse it would have been without it!
Charlie is being a superstar - he's so helpful and so excited for his little sister to finally arrive. I'm having so much fun spending time with him - just him and me - before LO makes an appearance!
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Breech!!
The man doing the scanning today was a bit rushed, so only did one measurement of her head circumference, diameter, femur length and abdominal circumference, whereas normally they do several measurements and pick the middle one.
But according to today's slightly rough measurements, she's already 5lbs8oz (with more than seven weeks left to go. Eek.)
The other news is that she has turned herself to a breech position. I was pretty sure she'd turned a few days ago because my bump changed shape and all the kicks were in different places.
Nobody seems particularly worried though, because babies often turn themselves back again before about 36wks.
I've been advised to do lots of bouncing on my exercise ball - I'll have to wrestle it off Charlie first!
My blood pressure is still looking good and they took some more bloods today too - I won't hear any results though unless there is a problem.
We also met with the midwife consultant to discuss whereabouts I'm going to have LO, and have come to a great compromise.
It used to be that if you went to a midwife-led unit, there was more flexibility to move around in labour, use the birthing pool and to have less aggressive monitoring, but the care was very much for low-risk mothers, with no doctors on site and no option for epidurals or other interventions.
Alternatively, for people needing high-risk care (ie me - because of my previous c-section and obstetric history) there was the very traditional consultant-led unit, where you were constantly monitored and basically strapped to the bed, flat on your back throughout.
But things have - thankfully - changed.
I've been given the opportunity to have midwife-led care, but on the consultant-led unit. So I get the reassurance of a consultant on permanent standby in case I end up needing a c-section or if there are any problems, while being on waterproof remote-controlled telemetry monitoring, so I can use the birthing pool, walk around and do all the things I wanted to do last time. Plus, Pete is able to stay with me after LO arrives - even overnight - which will be lovely.
We go back again on September 9, when I'll be 36w5d. It's also Will's birthday, and I love being up at the hospital on his birthday because it's the place where he was born, and lived, and died. So that will be nice, and very special.
I've attached the latest pic of LO - she's got her eye open and you can see how chubby her cheeks are looking already!
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Getting organised...
Less than eight weeks to go until her due date now, and I'm starting to wish the weeks away.
Partly because I want her out safely and partly because I'm starting to get pretty uncomfortable now! Walking, breathing, eating, sleeping - they're all getting pretty difficult!
We've been sorting through all the stuff we had in the loft - I've dug out Charlie's old baby chair, swing and crib. I've also brought down all the bags of clothes that have been residing up there in case our next baby was a boy!
I've sorted through them all and bagged up the obviously boyish stuff for the charity shop (although I'm still not quite confident enough to get rid of them yet, just in case the last four scans have been wrong and she turns out to be a boy after all!!)
I was really pleased to find a few unisex outfits among them, along with lots of white babygros, socks and vests. It'll be nice to pass on some of Charlie's stuff to his little sister.
So putting those bits and bobs together with the bag of girly clothes my friend Kelly gave me, I think we're about sorted!
Obviously LO's not allowed to arrive until September 6 though, or we won't have a buggy or cot ready for her!
I will update after Thursday's scan - I can't believe I'll be 32wk4d by then.
I'm intrigued to know how heavy they will estimate LO to be, as she was 3lbs a month ago. I want her to keep growing well, but I don't want her to be TOO enormous!!
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Shopping!
It made things feel very real all of a sudden, although I must admit, I am still left with the slight feeling that we're only pretending at being the parents of a 'boring and ordinary' baby, and that something is bound to go wrong soon. Just call me a pessimist - I'm relying on everybody else's positivity to outweigh my slightly warped sense of realism!!
None of the shopping is being delivered until September 6 though, by which time it will be less than a month to go until her due date.
Early enough that I feel like I'm vaguely organised (and that I've got time to work out all the bells and whistles on the pram!) but not so early that I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself.
'Normal' parenthood is certainly good fun so far - even if it does mean the bank balance takes a bit of a bashing!
I'm hoping my nesting instinct will kick in a bit prematurely because I've still got a LOT of sorting to do before LO makes her appearance!
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, July 21, 2011
July 21, 2011
Thought you might like to see the latest picture of our chubby little lady!
LO is doing brilliantly and is growing like a trooper. At the scan a week ago, she was weighing in at just a smidgen under 3lbs, which seems like pretty good going for the 28+wks she was then.
Mum came to the scan with us, which was lovely - she was amazed at how clearly she could see LO - especially because when she was having us, the only fetal monitoring available was listening to her tummy with an ear trumpet!!
Everything is still looking perfect - according to Mr Beattie, things are 'wonderfully boring' with LO!
Funny he should put it that way because before I was pregnant and we were talking to Charlie about the prospect of having another baby, we always said that we might have one like Will, or one like him or one that was just boring and ordinary! And it has to be said, there is an AWFUL lot to be said for boring and ordinary!
We're starting to get a bit more organised for LO's arrival now - there's only about 10wks left until she is due, and six weeks of that is the summer holiday!
My friend has given us a pile of baby girl clothes, and several friends are knitting frantically! Mum also ordered a carseat for LO which arrived the other day. It's pretty exciting really, and I keep peeping at it - it still hasn't sunk in that, all being well, we'll have a little person to put in it in a couple of months.
Charlie is still totally smitten with his little sister and has read her dozens of books. He loves feeling her kick and can't wait until she finally makes her appearance.
Well, I think I'll be making this blog public shortly, and linking to it from Charlie's blog so everyone can see what we've been up to! I'm hoping to keep writing this blog as well as Charlie's until LO is born and then I'll get this one printed into a blog book and use Charlie's for all the family news.
For the record, I'm now 29w4d - I can't believe how time is flying by. Our next scan will be on August 11 - Charlie is highly delighted because he's on holiday from school then so he'll be able to come too. We'll also have a meeting with the midwifery consultant - we're hopeful that I might be able to deliver LO at the posh new midwife-led birthing centre at the hospital, rather than on the traditional labour ward. Although I had a c-section with Will, I delivered Charlie normally so Mr Beattie doesn't see any reason why LO can't be born in the birthing centre. It would be fantastic to have a more 'normal' and less medicalised experience of giving birth if I can. So we'll have to see what they say at our next appointment!
Saturday, July 02, 2011
July 2, 2011
Our 4D scan was an amazing experience - we were all stunned by how clearly we could see LO.
Charlie was absolutely thrilled to bits to see his little sister, and insisted the lady doing the scan checked again to make sure she really is a girl. (Which she is!)
We could see her stretching, yawning, opening and closing her eyes, grimacing, frowning, rubbing her eyes and leaning on her hands.
Totally amazing.
It's still hard to believe that all that is going on inside my bump!
This scan was just for fun - they weren't looking for any problems, but they did do the basic checks - fluid levels, blood flow through the cord and a growth check - all of which were perfect!
She is still measuring a bit above average, and seems to have very long legs (about a week bigger than average) so she's obviously inherited them from her dad... as Pete's 6'4" and I'm only 5'2"!
According to the measurements they took, she's weighing in at about 2lbs5oz already which is great.
That's about it for now - we're off to the hospital again on July 14 for our regular growth scan. Mum is coming with us - LO is her 10th, and in all likelihood, last, grandchild, but she's never been to an ultrasound scan before. We thought she might like to experience one with us - especially now all is looking pretty good and scan days aren't quite so stressful! It's amazing how things have changed since Mum had us - back then they listened to the baby's heartbeat with a pinnard stethoscope, but that was about it as far as fetal monitoring was concerned!
Anyway, that's about it for now - I'm thinking it won't be too long before I throw this blog open for everyone to read. Kind of a scary thought in one way, but it's about time the world met LO!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
So excited!
I wonder if LO will perform for the camera? I'll be very fed up if she spends the whole time with her face in her hands!!
Watch this space for some pics a bit later!
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, June 26, 2011
June 26, 2011
Time is flying by - faster than I ever thought it would.
June is nearly gone and October is getting ever closer.
To be honest, it can't come quickly enough for me.
Not that I'm wishing my pregnancy days away - in all likelihood, this will be the last time I walk (or should I say waddle...) this road, so I want to appreciate the marvel of growing a baby inside me.
But I just want to get to the point where our little girl is safely in our arms... and we can start facing the next set of worries!
LO is growing well, as far as I can tell. I keep meaning to take some pictures of my bump but I haven't got round to it.
I always fancied being one of those supremely organised pregnant women who documented each week with a new 'belly picture' and a bullet-pointed list of the latest pregnancy news... but you know me! Organised blogging isn't one of my strong points.
She is moving lots, prodding and kicking all day long. Pete has felt her move now, much to his delight - she's even started responding to him prodding my tummy by kicking back at his hand.
Charlie is still SO excited about his little sister and can't walk past any baby stuff in the shops without eyeing up all the things he wants to get for her when she arrives.
He's still reading her stories every day, talking to her through my tummy, hugging my bump and singing to her. He's even making up songs specially for her! He calls her by her name all the time now - she's not just 'Baby' anymore.
We're all really looking forward to Tuesday and the 4D scan. It's so exciting to think we might get to see her face a bit more clearly.
That's about it for now - watch this space for some new pics on Tuesday!
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Friday, June 10, 2011
Here she is!!
We were in a different part of the hospital, because there was a meeting being held in the Fetal Medicine Department, where LO is normally scanned, so, we were back in the old ultrasound department where I used to be scanned with Will and Charlie.
I'm not superstitious at all, but I couldn't help but think of all the bad news we'd had in those rooms before, and hope fervently that history wasn't about to repeat itself.
But the sonographer was a lady we've seen a few times before and she was great. She knows what we're like and happily tells us what she's seeing as she scans - and doesn't object to my many questions and clarifications!
But my fears were groundless - because LO's heart is still looking - and I quote the sonographer - 'Perfect'.
All the inflow and outflow vessels were perfect, the four chambers were very visible and proportionate, and the aortic arch was just beautiful.
It actually made me feel a bit emotional to see what a 'normal' heart looks like, and to really realise what a total miracle my Charlie-Boy is, managing as well as he does with what is, without doubt, a seriously underdeveloped heart.
Everything else was totally spot-on - all the measurements were exactly where they should be, and LO is growing well - already weighing in at an estimated 1lb7oz.
We go for a 4D scan on June 28, and then back for a 'normal' monitoring scan on July 14.
There are still a couple of things that could show up later on - coarctation of the aorta or small holes in the heart - but there's no reason to think they should, so we're trying to stop worrying a bit and enjoy this pregnancy!
It's crazy really - with Will and Charlie, I didn't stress about all the 'normal' worries like premature birth, placental abruption, cord accidents or stillbirth, but these seem to be looming rather large in my mind at the moment.
I'm not worrying about them as such, it's more that I'm really feeling the pressure to make sure LO arrives safely and in one piece - after all the hurdles we've successfully crossed so far, it would be beyond ironic to lose this baby to something else.
But anyway - back to the scan, and some almost equally important news - I was VERY smug to have my long-term suspicions confirmed... LO is a girl!
Charlie was on tenterhooks all day at school yesterday, and came flying out of the door when the bell went, whispering (because we still haven't told everybody...) "Well? Is it a girl or a boy?"
We had wrapped up a packet of pink muslin squares and a pink baby cup, so he could find out for himself when he opened the parcel! (I have to say, we're not really big fans of pink, but we didn't want there to be any doubt in his mind!)
We also included the scan picture above - taken yesterday and personalised for Charlie by the sonographer.
He was so thrilled when he opened the parcel - he's been hoping for a little sister for a good couple of months - even more so since they told us that she 'might' be a girl last time.
So he was VERY excited! I know boys aren't supposed to like shopping, but he's already planning all the things he wants to buy for his baby sister!
He's still hugging my tummy, and reading stories and chatting to the bump whenever he can - it's so precious to hear him telling her that she's "the best little sister in the universe, and I'm going to love you SO much..."
I guess he's been waiting a very long time for this! I'm in awe of how well he's done at keeping the secret though - it's been 12weeks since we told him, and he hasn't told a soul. :-)
It's still very hard to believe - this is a completely new experience for us - both in the fact that she's a girl and that, so far, she seems to be well.
We are so very thankful.
She is special in another way too - I think I might have mentioned before, that when Dad was still here, he used to pray, by name, for all his kids and grandchildren every day.
When he was praying for our little family, he would ask that if we had another baby, it might be healthy. And because he had read that HLHS is more common in boys, that maybe we might have a girl next time round.
And it's looking like Dad's prayers - and those of many others - have been answered.
It breaks my heart to think that LO won't meet her grandpa this side of Heaven - I know he'd have been as smitten with her as he was with his other grandkids, and I hate to think that she'll never know him and remember him like Charlie does.
But it makes me happy to think that when she's bigger, I'll be able to talk to her about her grandpa, and tell her that he thought about her and prayed about her, before she was even conceived.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
LO's heartbeat...
June 1, 2011
Well, it's been a while since I last updated LO's blog, but no news is good news!
We went for our anomaly scan on May 10... and everything is looking perfect so far.
I can't express how thrilled and relieved we were to hear this.
All the major organs looked totally normal - brain, kidneys, stomach, bladder, heart - everything was exactly where it should be.
Growth-wise, LO is spot on, and Mr Beattie was very confident that all will be well.
I however, won't be convinced until the baby is born, in our arms... and has had an echo and a sats check!
It seems such a long time since I started this blog last December, and I wrote about all the hurdles we had to jump on the road to Charlie Barley's baby. I don't really even want to say it, just in case, but it feels like the worst of those hurdles might actually be behind us.
Of course, there are always new and unexpected hurdles that could pop up at any point, but for the time being we're enjoying the knowledge that there doesn't appear to be anything major wrong with LO.
We go back next week - June 9 - for a really in-depth cardiac scan. The baby's heart grows massively between 20-24wks, so they should be able to get an even clearer view than they did at the anomaly scan.
Mr Beattie told us that they have been looking SO hard at our baby's heart, that he is confident that there are no major issues, and that if anything were to show up next time, it would only be something very minor and treatable - if in fact it even needed treating.
However, nothing he has seen has given him any cause for concern, and he doesn't expect there to be anything wrong.
Needless to say though, we are most certainly not counting our chickens yet.
In spite of that though, Pete and I have enjoyed the novel experience of wandering around John Lewis, earmarking the buggy and cotbed that we'll buy "if all is well".
We have never, ever done this before - even with Charlie we didn't buy anything apart from a packet of babygros and a cuddly dog before he was born.
We're not planning on buying anything big for quite a while though - but we're really enjoying looking!
Having said that, Charlie has bought his baby a cuddly Tigger, and I bought a lovely rainbow blanket, but that's it for the time being!
LO is quite the little wriggler, and I've been feeling movements for quite a few weeks now - since about 16wks. They are much more definite now though, and Charlie has been able to feel the kicks and prods from the outside. Pete however, has not - LO can be doing an Irish jig inside, but as soon as he puts his hand on my tummy everything stops! Hopefully it won't be too long though before he can feel how lively LO is.
We've decided on LO's name - whether we need a boy's name or a girl's name... at the last scan, they thought it MIGHT be a girl, but LO really wasn't cooperating so we're taking it with a pinch of salt! Hopefully we'll be able to find out at the next scan.
I also had my first ever 'normal' visit with the midwife last week - I've always been under the care of the hospital in all of my previous pregnancies, so haven't seen a community midwife. However I wanted to get the form to exempt me from paying dental charges (and I wanted my Bounty pack... it's nice to have some of the fun stuff as well as the serious medical stuff!)
She listened to LO's heart with a doppler, and it was beating beautifully at 147bpm. I recorded the heartbeat on my phone (sad, I know!) so I'll upload it here if I can work out how to put an audio track on Blogger.
I think that's about it for now - as I said, the next scan is on June 9, and we'll be going for a 4D scan a couple of weeks after that. So watch this space for some very cool pictures of LO!
For the record, I'm now 22w3d and LO is about 11ins from head to toe and weighs about 1lb.
Monday, May 09, 2011
Tomorrow...
We should find out with more certainty what, if anything, is wrong with LO.
I suppose I should really say 'if LO is alright' but I am afraid, and very aware of all the many things that could go wrong.
Charlie will have to come with us in the morning because he is off school with an ear infection. He will wait in the waiting room while we have the main scan, but he is very excited that he might be able to see the baby on the screen at the end if all is well.
I hope all is well - not least because it will be hard to keep strong for Charlie if it is bad news. I don't want him to be upset or disappointed.
He's really hoping we might be able to find out if he is having a brother or sister too. If he could choose, I think he'd like another brother, but he says he doesn't really mind one way or the other.
The appointment is early - 9.30am - so we shouldn't have to hang around for too long.
Watch this space...
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