LO's latest portrait...

Here's LO at my last scan.

According to the dates they gave me last time, he/she is 12w2d, but according to his/her size on this scan, it might be 12w5d. Either way, LO is growing very well and is a bit bigger than average.

We were able to find out far more than we expected at the scan.

First and foremost, the nuchal fold measured 1.3mm - teeny tiny! They want it to be less than 3mm so that was a great start.

We explained our previous history to the sonographer (who recognised me from the speech I did last November!!) and asked her to look first at the kidneys - if they were massive, the nuchal fold measurement was really pretty redundant.

She had a look and (with a bit of hunting) spotted two small, very unremarkable looking kidneys, and a bladder. Hurrah! At this point in my pregnancy with Will, his kidneys were the size of those of a 27-week foetus and he had no bladder, so this was a GREAT start.

She also had a look at the brain - it was already well divided into the two hemispheres and appeared normal for this stage of pregnancy.

Then, much to our delight, she told us she was something of a cardiac specialist, and proceeded to have a good look at LO's heart.

She instantly spotted two AV valves and zoomed in to a FOUR-chamber view of the heart.

Yes - FOUR chambers. I make no apologies for my excessive use of capitals... this is amazing. She pointed out the right ventricle (the one Charlie has) and the much larger left ventricle. (which Charlie doesn't.)

She could see them.

I could see them.

Pete could see them.

I even collared Mr Beattie as he popped his head around the door, and HE could see them too.

FOUR chambers. TWO ventricles. I have to admit, I was stunned. Will had HLHS and so does Charlie. Pete and I have never conceived a child with all four chambers of its heart.

Until now, it seems.

Having said that, we aren't out of the woods yet by any means. We go back on April 12, when I'll be 15+wks.

We're hopeful that, by then, we might be able to rule some stuff out for certain. We might even be able to find out of LO is a he or a she. I was 16wks with Charlie when they definitively ruled out Meckel-Gruber syndrome, and definitively confirmed HLHS.

But we never had the nuchal fold scan with Chas - nor a pretty positive four-chamber view of the heart. It is amazing how much the technology has advanced in the last seven years.

We asked Mr Beattie if he felt confident enough for us to tell Charlie about the baby, and he replied 'Well, we've seen the kidneys, bladder and four-chamber view... I would!'

So we did.

I wrapped up an 'I'm the big brother' T-shirt for him and he opened it as soon as he got in from school. His reaction was totally priceless, and he is over the moon. I've uploaded the video below, so blow it up to full screen and crank your speakers right up!

He talks to the baby every day, hugs my tummy, and loves to plan all the things they'll do together if all is well. I hope this little one is ok.

After the next scan, we'll have another at about 20wks - the standard anomaly scan. Although, so far, things are looking promising, there are still a lot of things that can go wrong. And by 20wks, they should be able to tell us everything.

But whatever happens, I'll always treasure three little words on the scan report... "Heart Appears Normal".

PS Apologies for the very spacy layout on this post - Blogger isn't playing ball.

Charlie finds out about LO...

Hello, LO.

Here is LO. His/her heart is beating strongly and he/she is 2.9cm long. They pushed my dates forward, so I'm now 9w5d. New due date is October 2. I'm tired now, but I'll write a proper update soon about our appointment - which went well. Let's just say, so far, so good.

Sinking in...

Well, it's been a week since these two lines appeared, and I'm finally starting to believe that I really am pregnant.
I got my positive result quite early, so I'm not five weeks yet - not until Wednesday.
I am feeling pretty tired and queasy already (and I've gone right off coffee which is most unusual for me), but part of me is just trying to forget about it until we're a bit further down the line and I can actually find out something conclusive.
All being well, the baby should be arriving at the start of October (or maybe the middle/end of October if he/she is anything like Charlie - who was two weeks late!)
Having said that, I am so accustomed to having complicated pregnancies, that I'm not taking anything for granted.
Not one day.
First, I have to get through the first twelve weeks without having a miscarriage (as happened with Baby #1)
Then I have to get past a diagnosis of Meckel-Gruber syndrome (Baby #2 - our precious little Will) - probably between 12-15 weeks.
THEN we have to pass the hurdle of the anomaly scan (16-20 weeks) to see if Baby #4 - unlike Baby #2 AND Baby #3 (Charlie) - has managed to avoid HLHS... and anything else potentially lethal.
So, quite a few fences to jump before I break out the Mothercare catalogue.
I know that must sound very pessimistic, but it's not really - I'm just being realistic.
I have no doubt that 'crunch time' will be very scary, and we hope and pray that all will be well with this little one, but we have gone into this with our eyes wide open, and are pretty philosophical about it.
With my pregnancies with Will and Charlie, I was scanned every week or two from six or eight weeks. At the moment (although I may change my mind!) we don't think we want to be scanned so often, unless necessary. I'd rather have as few scans as possible until they can tell us something definitive, as it's very stressful hauling up to the hospital every five minutes, just in case some sign of bad news has appeared.
So for now, we're thinking of scans at eight weeks, 12 weeks and then 20 weeks. Obviously, whichever way things go, we'll be having multiple scans after 20 weeks, but up until then, I'd like to try and enjoy my pregnancy as much as I can.
Even if things aren't 'normal' I'd like to pretend for as long as possible.
I'm aware this might sound odd, and please believe me, I'm not in denial - I just have a very different approach to pregnancy than most women.
Even with a positive test, I don't ever let myself think 'When the baby comes...'
It's always 'If the baby survives...'
So I'm making a concerted effort this time round to ENJOY growing a baby.
I intend to enjoy every new milestone, every change, every bout of morning sickness, every kick, every inch my belly grows - every single thing - but in its own right.
I don't know how well I'll do, but that's the plan. :-)
I haven't told the doctors yet. I'll probably give it another two or three weeks and then give the foetal medicine team a shout. They'll need to invest in a wheelbarrow to transport my mountain of maternity notes!
For the record, I'm at 4wks 3days and Little One (LO from hereon in...) is somewhere between the size of a poppyseed and a sesame seed.
Amazing how someone so tiny is already leaving big footprints across my heart.

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