Well, better late than never!

I had every intention of documenting this pregnancy with regular 'belly pictures'... but that's as far as I got!
So here's one of me just now at 39w3d.
And no, I don't normally look quite so smart, but we just had our photos taken for the newspaper, so I thought I'd capitalise on the fact that I've actually brushed my hair and put on a pair of heels by getting Pete to take a pic for me. It's a bit over-exposed, but you get the idea!

Anyway - you might be wondering why are we having pictures taken for the paper.
Primarily because we're helping my consultant, Bryan Beattie, publicise a new screening campaign to check blood oxygen levels in newborns.
We were very fortunate that Charlie's HLHS was picked up on ultrasound scan, because only about 50 percent of congenital heart defects are found via antenatal scanning.
And of the 50 percent that are undiagnosed before birth, many babies with major, life-threatening cardiac problems initially seem well and are discharged from hospital - only to become very ill, very quickly.
For many families, by the time they get their babies back to hospital, it can be too late.
But even though these babies initially seem well, the oxygen levels in their blood are often much lower than normal - a key warning to doctors that further investigation is needed.
A simple and non-invasive test can pick up the low oxygen levels before they even leave the hospital.
They just need to be attached to a pulse oximetry or sats machine, which will tell doctors the vital percentage of oxygen in their blood.
That's it.
Easy and painless - and already part of routine post-natal screening in the US, but not here.
So, Mr Beattie has started offering the screening at his private clinic - but we - and he - really want the NHS to pick up the baton here and make sure every newborn is screened before leaving hospital.
It really is a lifesaver.
Even though LO has been repeatedly scanned, and has had in-depth cardiac scans, we will definitely be having her sats checked before we set foot out of the hospital.

So... back to the newspaper.
I wrote a press release for Mr Beattie last week, (for those of you who don't know, I was a journalist before I had the kids, so it was quite nice to pick up my reporter's notebook again!) and was interviewed by a reporter the other day. A photographer came this afternoon to take some pics.
So, hopefully I should have some really nice pics to show you before too long. I'll post the link to the piece in the paper as well if I can find it when it comes out.

No other news really - all was well when I went to the midwife last week. LO was still head down and growing nicely.
It's hard to believe she is due in four days (although I am still adamant that she's going to be late!)
We go back to the hospital at the end of next week for another checkup, by which time I'll be about five days overdue.
I want to avoid being induced if I possibly can, and Mr Beattie is happy for me to go about 12days late, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens!
Watch this space!!

Not breech!!

Hi folks.
Well, our appointment today went really well!
As well as checking growth, they also re-checked all the key points - heart, kidneys, bladder etc.
Her anatomy is still looking totally normal and everything seems to be working perfectly.
She is still growing like mad - all her measurements were about two weeks ahead and they estimate she is weighing about 7lbs4oz now.
The best bit of all is that she has turned herself around again, so she is no longer breech!
So now all we need to do is wait for her to make an appearance!
Mr Beattie has made our next appointment for 40wk5d, so who knows - maybe LO will be here before then!
I have to go to the community midwife in about a fortnight just for her to check me over, but other than that, we just have to play the waiting game.
Mr Beattie was very happy with how LO is doing, which is great. He also told us that all of LO's cardiac scans have been reviewed by Orhan Uzun, the cardiologist, and he is very happy with everything too! Just what we want to hear.
Consequently, he doesn't think she will need a cardiac echo after she is born, but he does want to check her oxygen sats after she arrives - as much for my reassurance as anything else!
He gave me his mobile number and asked me to text him as soon as LO is born, so he can come and see her and put a sats probe on her.
I know I've said it before, but it is so fantastic to have a medical team around us who we really trust and can rely on.
I'm attaching the latest pic of LO - it's not very clear, but you can still see how chubby her cheeks are!
So, now we need to finish off all the preparations for LO's arrival, and I need to start hitting the raspberry leaf tea! I don't know how much good it does, but it can't hurt to give it a whirl!

36w3d

Well. Here we are, fast approaching 37wks, when LO is considered to be 'at term'.
If I'm honest, it still doesn't feel real. I've washed the bits and pieces of clothes for her, the crib is ready and the buggy arrived yesterday.
This is a very weird feeling. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just waiting for it all to go wrong.
I still feel like I'm pretending at being pregnant. (Although my ever-growing bump might dispute that...) Or at least pretending that everything is ok.
It's strange to be able to chat to people about our impending new arrival without seeing sympathy and pity in their eyes.
Strange to think that the biggest concern at the moment is whether she is breech or not.
Strange to be talking about plans for Charlie's birthday and Christmas, and including the baby in those plans.
This is an unprecedented experience for me - preparing for a baby who, God willing, in all likelihood and according to all the doctors, will be born well and 'wonderfully boring', and be able to come home from hospital with me straight away.
I've been trying to pack my hospital bag and I'm really struggling.
I find myself wanting to pack lots of stuff for me, in the expectation that I'll be stuck in hospital for weeks with a sick baby. Equally, I'm finding it hard to know how much to take for LO - with Will, we took one outfit and that was it.
And, though it's quite hard to admit, I'm finding it hard to let go of the tentative baby funeral plans that have been bubbling around my brain since I got a positive pregnancy test back in January.
I know people who haven't been in our situation find that hard to stomach, and probably think I'm being over-dramatic.
I can already imagine all the 'You can't think like that; don't be stupid; you have to be positive' responses.
But I can't.
I just can't shake off my usual habit of expecting the worst.
Yes, I'm having fun ironing little dresses, and loving watching Charlie get more and more excited as LO's due date draws nearer and nearer.
But I still can't let myself be confident that she will be ok.
It's almost as though, if something does go wrong, I want to be able to say 'See! I was right!'
But on this occasion, I'll be very, very happy to be proved wrong.
We go back to the hospital on Friday to see how LO is getting on. Judging by my ever-increasing waistline, I'm guessing she's still growing pretty well. I'm also thinking that she may well still be breech, as I can feel something hard, round and head-like jammed up under my ribs.
I guess we will see on Friday.

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34 weeks

Wow. Six weeks to go until LO is due.
This pregnancy is flying by. She'll be here before we know it.
All is going well - she is still wriggling around like mad - I'm not sure if she's still breech though, so I might pop up to the community midwife this week so she can have a feel and tell me if I need to start standing on my head!
I'm feeling pretty ok - quite a few people have said I'm blooming (although I REALLY wouldn't go that far!) and I've also been told that my bump is very neat - which is nothing short of a miracle because according to the scans, LO is pretty huge!
I'm not too tired, although my hips and pelvis have been pretty sore and achy. I'm fine when I'm up and walking though - it's just the transition between lying down-sitting-standing and vice versa which is tricky.
We're reasonably organised for LO's arrival now - her crib is sorted, and her clothes are ready too. We've brought the essentials down out of the loft, and everything is sorted for my mum coming to look after Charlie while Pete and I are at the hospital.
It's quite exciting really - crazy to think we'll probably only have a couple more hospital appointments before she is here with us.
I'm still dithering about whether to hire a TENS machine again. I had one when I had Charlie and it didn't really seem to do a lot, and the buzzing feeling annoyed me a bit - but you never know how much worse it would have been without it!
Charlie is being a superstar - he's so helpful and so excited for his little sister to finally arrive. I'm having so much fun spending time with him - just him and me - before LO makes an appearance!

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Breech!!

Well, today's appointment went well. Everything was still looking very normal on the scan, although LO is growing like mad and is going to be quite a big girl by the looks of things.
The man doing the scanning today was a bit rushed, so only did one measurement of her head circumference, diameter, femur length and abdominal circumference, whereas normally they do several measurements and pick the middle one.
But according to today's slightly rough measurements, she's already 5lbs8oz (with more than seven weeks left to go. Eek.)
The other news is that she has turned herself to a breech position. I was pretty sure she'd turned a few days ago because my bump changed shape and all the kicks were in different places.
Nobody seems particularly worried though, because babies often turn themselves back again before about 36wks.
I've been advised to do lots of bouncing on my exercise ball - I'll have to wrestle it off Charlie first!
My blood pressure is still looking good and they took some more bloods today too - I won't hear any results though unless there is a problem.
We also met with the midwife consultant to discuss whereabouts I'm going to have LO, and have come to a great compromise.
It used to be that if you went to a midwife-led unit, there was more flexibility to move around in labour, use the birthing pool and to have less aggressive monitoring, but the care was very much for low-risk mothers, with no doctors on site and no option for epidurals or other interventions.
Alternatively, for people needing high-risk care (ie me - because of my previous c-section and obstetric history) there was the very traditional consultant-led unit, where you were constantly monitored and basically strapped to the bed, flat on your back throughout.
But things have - thankfully - changed.
I've been given the opportunity to have midwife-led care, but on the consultant-led unit. So I get the reassurance of a consultant on permanent standby in case I end up needing a c-section or if there are any problems, while being on waterproof remote-controlled telemetry monitoring, so I can use the birthing pool, walk around and do all the things I wanted to do last time. Plus, Pete is able to stay with me after LO arrives - even overnight - which will be lovely.
We go back again on September 9, when I'll be 36w5d. It's also Will's birthday, and I love being up at the hospital on his birthday because it's the place where he was born, and lived, and died. So that will be nice, and very special.
I've attached the latest pic of LO - she's got her eye open and you can see how chubby her cheeks are looking already!

Getting organised...

Well, we're off to the hospital on Thursday to see LO on the scan again. It certainly feels like she is growing like mad - she seems to be trying to fight her way out already, and I'm forever finding her knees and feet jabbing me under the ribs.
Less than eight weeks to go until her due date now, and I'm starting to wish the weeks away.
Partly because I want her out safely and partly because I'm starting to get pretty uncomfortable now! Walking, breathing, eating, sleeping - they're all getting pretty difficult!
We've been sorting through all the stuff we had in the loft - I've dug out Charlie's old baby chair, swing and crib. I've also brought down all the bags of clothes that have been residing up there in case our next baby was a boy!
I've sorted through them all and bagged up the obviously boyish stuff for the charity shop (although I'm still not quite confident enough to get rid of them yet, just in case the last four scans have been wrong and she turns out to be a boy after all!!)
I was really pleased to find a few unisex outfits among them, along with lots of white babygros, socks and vests. It'll be nice to pass on some of Charlie's stuff to his little sister.
So putting those bits and bobs together with the bag of girly clothes my friend Kelly gave me, I think we're about sorted!
Obviously LO's not allowed to arrive until September 6 though, or we won't have a buggy or cot ready for her!
I will update after Thursday's scan - I can't believe I'll be 32wk4d by then.
I'm intrigued to know how heavy they will estimate LO to be, as she was 3lbs a month ago. I want her to keep growing well, but I don't want her to be TOO enormous!!

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Shopping!

Well - we did it!! We ordered LO's buggy and cot today!
It made things feel very real all of a sudden, although I must admit, I am still left with the slight feeling that we're only pretending at being the parents of a 'boring and ordinary' baby, and that something is bound to go wrong soon. Just call me a pessimist - I'm relying on everybody else's positivity to outweigh my slightly warped sense of realism!!
None of the shopping is being delivered until September 6 though, by which time it will be less than a month to go until her due date.
Early enough that I feel like I'm vaguely organised (and that I've got time to work out all the bells and whistles on the pram!) but not so early that I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself.
'Normal' parenthood is certainly good fun so far - even if it does mean the bank balance takes a bit of a bashing!
I'm hoping my nesting instinct will kick in a bit prematurely because I've still got a LOT of sorting to do before LO makes her appearance!

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